Pigs do fly don’t they?

I’ve been holding onto this cartoon for an age, hoping that at some point I will think of a funny conversation between the two pigs. I’ve failed miserably. Sometimes the funny just won’t come! If you want to have a bash – be my guest! I’ll update it to include any good suggestions.

Pigs fly

Conversation Stopper

Autumn is here – my favourite time of year!  Scrunchy leaves. Clear, crisp skies. Seeing your breath. Warm coats and scarves. Squirrels manically burying seeds. Irresistibly shiny conkers that you just have to pocket. Log fires and a palette of golds, reds, browns and oranges that make you want to paint or write poetry!  This is not however, the topic of my cartoon.

Last week I was chatting to L about the day’s events on my walk home from work, when along the path bounced the most adorable puppy.  Anyone who knows me, will know that I’m a sucker for anything cute and fluffy.  I’ve been known to fight my way through a crowd to stroke some unsuspecting mutt, whilst L marches ahead with embarrassment muttering “She’s not with me. She’s not with me”.   Just the sight of a ball of fluff will more than likely cause me to let out an uncontrollable squeal of joy followed by a gush of unintelligible coos and babbles as I stroke and hug said creature to death.   I’ve even been known to shout ‘hello’ to cows and wave to cats…Yes, I would agree, these are not the actions of a sane person.

So, when I spied the puppy running down the path, without a moment’s thought or warning, I hung up mid-conversation. Just like that.  It wasn’t until after I’d had my fill of puppy cuddles that I realised what I’d done.    Understandably, L was a little bemused by the sudden disconnection – was the network down? did I drop my phone? had I been attacked by a mad axeman?  When I finally rang back to explain what had happened, she was not in the least bit surprised, for nothing can come between me and a puppy!

Conversa

Deer! Deer! Deer!

I’ve spent a hefty portion of the weekend focusing my energy on photography.  On Saturday morning I was up early and raced to the moorlands nearby to watch the sun come up and photograph the herds of deer that are congregating in preparation for the autumn rut.  It was a clear, crisp morning and the sound of bellowing stags echoed around the heathland – what a great way to start the day.

In my good mood, I headed off in search of king fishers at my local nature reserve – I had it on good authority that a pair had been making a regular appearance and I drooled over some of the photographic evidence.  King fishers are on my list of ‘must photograph’ animals – needless to say, it didn’t show up.

Today I took part in a sponsored photography walk in aid of a local charity.   My photography group, I Just Wanna Tek Gud Photos, spent 2 hours on a historic tour of Sheffield, taking photos along the way.  The fruits of our labour will be displayed in an exhibition come November and the money from any sales will go directly to the charity.

So for today’s post, I thought I’d forego the cartoon and share a photograph or two.

Deer's looking at you!

Call of the wild

Dawn breaks on the moor

 

 

Pain, Pills and Bad Nursing

Nearly 5 weeks ago now, my other half did something to her back whilst getting ready for work.  For as long as I can remember, her back has always been a problem but nothing has been quite as severe as this incident.  I found one morning her stuck on all fours, sweating with the pain and on the verge of passing out.  Knowing her pain threshold is pretty high, I was more than a little alarmed and frantically dialled for the paramedics whilst she groaned ‘no doctors! no doctors!’ before wretching with another spasm.  Being a doctor herself, I know how stubborn she can be about receiving treatment so I duly ignored her pleas.

I was less than helpful in this challenging situation. The best I could do was dab her forehead and stuff pillows around her for support until the paramedic arrived, at which point I did what I do best, I made a cup of tea and started to clean and apologise profusely for the state of the house.

The paramedic left an hour later, then the doctor arrived with a look of concern on his face, prescribed a cocktail of drugs and signed her off for 4 weeks.    She has yet to go back to work and I have been chastised for my impatience because, quite frankly, it is hideously dull when your other half is unable to do anything more than crawl from sofa to bed, to bathroom and back to bed.  Having said all that, she is now on the mend and mobile enough to have short, easy walks. I no longer have to play full time nurse, taxi driver, chef, cleaner and waiter, and I shall never take our mobility for granted again!  Hats off to those people who are full time carers.  It’s hard work.

Pain Pills and bad nursing

Dinosaurs, dragons and guinea pigs

Entertainment in the form of conversation with a two and four year old is hard to beat.  I spent the weekend with my brother’s family and was immersed in a world of dragons, dinosaurs, strange children’s stories about moles with poo on their head, growing crystals, modelling chocolate, kings and princesses, train rides to Africa and much, much more.

It was my nephew’s fourth birthday and 95% of his presents were dinosaur based, right down his birthday cake and dinosaur tattoos.  He told me that dinosaur means terrible lizard and that a t-rex and a pterodactyl merged to form a terrifying flying menace which flies around Edinburgh. To kill a T-rex, you must stab it in the stomach with a sword and run between its legs. I think the first bit is true at least.

My two year old niece on the other hand, is happy making pretend tea and moving beans from one pot to another whilst chattering away in pidgin English.  When she is out and about, she is permanently attached to a toy buggy which she pushes everywhere with great determination regardless of whether it is occupied.  She loves her guinea pig and insists on stuffing carrots in its mouth while it dangles desperately off her tiny knee.  My world seems positively bleak now that I’m back at home.
Guineapig

Break Time

In this life there are spooners and shakers. The spooners like the comfort of boundaries. When someone says “I’d like half a teaspoon of sugar with my coffee”, a spooner will diligently measure the requested amount of coffee and sugar, and you can be assured that your hot drink will be served at a reasonable strength and just sweet enough.

Shakers, on the other hand, live life on the edge. They have no need for utensils! Instead they prefer guesswork. You cannot be guaranteed consistency with a shaker. One day you might receive a potent, dark coffee that’s bitter and acrid until you hit the bottom where the unstirred heap of sugar (measured by eye) makes you gag and gives your pancreas something to think about. The next day, you may have a cup of slightly caffeinated, watery gnats wee and you chastise yourself for relinquishing control of your morning coffee.

I say this because in an office where people regularly offer to make you a drink, you have to choose wisely. Knowing who the spooners and the shakers are can be the difference between a good Monday morning and a bad one. However, there is one pitfall with some of the muckier spooners which could muddy the friendship between tea drinkers and coffee drinkers. It’s dirty habit which led to my cartoon of the week…

Break time